Octobering

I’m feeling very honored this week to have my first post as a contributor on Still Standing Magazine.  If you haven’t visited there yet, it is a wonderful resource for people experiencing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or child loss.

No matter your background, loss, faith, family size, or gender, you are sure to find something written there that you can relate to in your experience with child loss.  And then sometimes it is helpful to see things from a different perspective, and to read about a different sort of experience so that you can use it to relate to people who have had other types of losses.  I have leaned heavily on that place in some of my darkest grieving and appreciated the raw, heartfelt posts from others who were not afraid to share their stories.  It was so helpful knowing that my roaring, crushing, enormous emotions were not going to devour me whole.

(Which reminds me, have you been sharing the story of your little winged one this month?  Have you told one other person what happened, or what you’re feeling? It feels so good to do.)

I wrote about something that I wasn’t sure would sit well with the baby loss community as a whole, because I feared that newcomers would want to tell me to jump in a lake at the suggestion that they would find fun again.  Who wants to read about laughter when they’ve lost their baby?  But I think it is good to know that when we’re in the dark place, which we have to go through and can’t go over or under or around, there will be light on the other side of it.  First, it might just be a dim matchstick flicker, but it will get stronger.  And while we will still pass through shadows along our way, the darkness won’t overtake us again like it once did.  Laughing can be so healing to our broken hearts.

Anyway, you can find it here if you’re interested in having a read.

I’m falling behind in Capturing My Grief right now – the beautiful New England fall has been keeping me busy raking leaves and baking pumpkin bread.  I am a lover of all things spiced and apple cidery and pumpkiny.  But the good thing is, there is no pressure to stay on track, and I can catch up later, which I plan to do soon.

I hope you’re having a lovely October.

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