When our Brigid died, I had a hard time understanding God’s plan.
I wondered how a good and loving Father could have chosen not to heal our baby, but to take her instead. Especially when we’d already lost her twin sister. I tried hard not to ask, “Why?” and to just trust that He is good, that He still loves us, and that somehow, He was in control of our situation. I could feel His presence with me, comforting me even as I spent days and days in tears. But I still did not understand.
The album, Beauty Will Rise, by Stephen Curtis Chapman, was one that I played over and over again. He wrote the songs after the tragic death of his three-year-old daughter, and he wrestled with the same questions. The songs were relevant, hopeful, and helpful to me as I tried to balance my faith and my grief. I loved that he was so real in expressing his feelings and giving a voice to my own. In one song, he talks about heaven being the face of his little girl. “God, I know it’s all of this and so much more,” he sings. “But God, you know that this is what I’m longing for.” He knew that God understood that even though heaven is about being with Him for eternity, for those of us who have lost a loved one, the most important thing about heaven is being reunited with that person.
We used one of the songs from the album in a slideshow we played at Brigid’s viewing. You can view the slideshow and listen to the song here.
Was there any song or poem that you found to be helpful to you in your grief?